- Princess Party Pants -
The Moon is at high point and the fog kicks in while a black crow caws in the distance. This is how I make my entrance at a party.
Only the mist is fifty percent glitter and thirty percent tears from angels. All of this is accurate, except for the fact that I don't party. I know, I know, you are reading this like, "What do you mean Fausti? You said this is how you enter a party!?" And I'm like, "What ever, I don't have to tell you all my business".
It's December and I get invited to about seventy events a night on Facebook, to which I respond with a hearty, female "maybe". That means I have absolutely no intent on going to them because who can go to all seventy in one night? I'm not Santa Claus! That is where my pants come into play. The most powerful pants in all the land. The pants that evaporate your body into thin air, magically transporting you to any party and placing you at the entrance, past the doorman. In the center of a mist, made of glitter and tears, you stand, party pants in tow. The clouded fog, so powerful, distorts the vision of all the partygoers. They will wonder, while sipping sponosored alochol, where their vision went. By the time the cloud diminishes, everyone's vision is fully restored and you are nowhere to be found. Probably because your magic pants are fragile as hell and got stuck on the corner of a door, leaving you naked from the waist down, therefore, canceling out the magical properties of the party pants.