- Miu Miu SS17 -
O bviously SS17 is the year and season of swim culture. To name a few of my favorites: Altuzarra and Thom Browne did it in NY, and as always, Dolce & Gabbana in Milan. Now, Miu Miu in Paris. The riviera theme this fashion week is so intoxicating that I can't help but catch myself day dreaming of playing chicken fight - and DOMINATING - in some relaxing mid-fall get away.
Let me walk you through this fantasy: It is October and New York is so 3 weeks ago! So Johnny and I decide to take a week trip to Costa Brava, Spain. We totally check the weather before leaving - which is why this fantasy is about Miu Miu, because coats over swimwear is a must, duh! Anyway, we arrive with several trunks of the entire collection in stow that we have yet to see in person. When we finally get into the resort, we pop open the trunks to give the clothes a whirl. No surprise here, Johnny fits in everything. Competitive as I am, I reach for look 44 and slip it up to my hips. "It fucking fits!!!" I cheer and spin. That’s when it happened: time stood still, but not before a full zoom on my ass happens and the classic saying, "just because it zips doesn’t mean it fits" displays over the freeze frame. We didn’t feel time stop, but it was seen by all and the image went viral within seconds. This is a day dream, remember? It's not supposed to make sense.
End freeze frame: Johnny falls on the floor laughing when he sees my backside sticking out of the bikini bottom. I was not going to let my Italian genes ruin my trip. I came here to win chicken fight and I would not rest until then. I rummage through a trunk and pull out look 28 and challenge Johnny to round one of the game. We walk towards the water through crowds of people snickering through their teeth and pointing towards me. Little did I know, I became the Miley Cyrus chicken cutlet of 2016.