- 90s -
Rumor has it that young millennials are craving that perfectly ripened decade of the 90s. No longer do they want to enjoy the socially accepting 2010s and that occasional, or frequent, molly before a night out. No, today's young 20 somethings want to be right back in their prepubescent glory days of POGS and Clarissa Explains It All. Catching wind of this "new" trend brought out the gift giving side of me, naturally. I smiled with glee, ouija board in hand, and summoned up the days of bad lipstick and high rise underwear.
The best of the 90s lived with the best of today in orgasmic bliss. The children were reliving crop tops and jelly chokers and conversing about TRL and old Nickelodeon cartoons. Everything was going great until someone was offended by a forward moving music video. A video trapped so deep in the vault behind Britney Spears and Busta Rhyms. A video so offensive it would put the entire community of young adults into cardiac arrest. Yes, I'm talking about Robbie Williams's "Rock DJ".
Your rants on Facebook updated as quickly as the video resurfaced across your sensitive computer screens. Your organic, moisturized fingertips typed away - expressing your lack of approval in a video so controversial.
"Who were they to think that a woman needs a man?"
"The women were having a great time enjoying themselves before the flesh of a man was thrown at their perfectly, perfect faces. Women don't look that perfect!"
Reading your emotional feelings brought a coy smile to my face while I say, "you are too pussy for the 90s". Then, as quick as I brought the 90s to you, I took it back and replaced it with the 70s. "Hopefully it works out better this time".
Disclaimer: Rock DJ came out in 2000... oops!...I did it again